The Latest

dildorrito:

what’s the password
Sep 1, 2014 / 162,841 notes

dildorrito:

what’s the password

(via distraction)

pulpfanfiction:

nayx:

Print it.  Fuck it.

am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused
Sep 1, 2014 / 258,747 notes

pulpfanfiction:

nayx:

Print it.  Fuck it.

am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused

(via distraction)

Sep 1, 2014 / 555,344 notes

somewhereno-oneknows:

shes clearly smoking some stronger shit if her fucking dog is talking to her

(via ivealwayswantedtousethatspell)

Sep 1, 2014 / 67,028 notes

davediddlystrider:

humoristics:

How to open a beer with a banana

well its open

(via distraction)

Sep 1, 2014 / 11,321 notes

handjob:

"everybody put your hands in the air!" yells the robber at the night club. the clubbers think he is the DJ and keep dancing. maybe he should have picked a different location

(via allofherflaws)

Sep 1, 2014 / 523,637 notes

sealcat:

no we don’t use that room there was once a spider in it

(via fifth-may)

Sep 1, 2014 / 270,521 notes

(via distraction)

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one thoughwhat am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)
After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.
One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 
She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.
Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.
Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..
And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.
Sep 1, 2014 / 189,620 notes

ccesamestreet:

spydercyde:

obsessionthenarglesmademedoit:

But why the last one though
what am I not getting

I can’t breath…I have not laughed this hard in years 

Okay, quick story about the last one- I go to this school too, and the creative writing teacher is rad as hell (like the kind to give out free coffee on fridays)

After all of the kids have submitted their short stories, he reads them all for the first time to his two kids, who help him grade them, in a way.

One time, a girl wrote a story about a sheep, named Trixie, making her dream come true by moving to the big city to become an actress, a singer, or whatever (he was pretty vague on the description) 

She took a bus and a few trains and finally ended up in the ‘Big City’, where she tries to make her dream come true.

Now I dont remember the exact sequence of events that came next, but Trixie the sheep eventually ended up becoming a prostitute mid-sentence.

Our teacher didnt really realize this at the time, since it was his first time reading it, and to his kids he was caught completely off guard. And lets just say he had to explain a few new concepts to his kids that night..

And that’s why we can’t write any more stories about Trixie going to the Big City.

(via ivealwayswantedtousethatspell)

Sep 1, 2014 / 38,023 notes

(via distraction)

cashcats:

my mind on my money
my money on my mind
Sep 1, 2014 / 9,996 notes

cashcats:

my mind on my money

my money on my mind

(via distraction)